Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
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Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
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Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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