Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
