Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
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