I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
