the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
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