Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
