brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
