Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
