We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
