sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
Randomize
