You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Randomize
