She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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