My girlfriend figured out who you are.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
