I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
