he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
