She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
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