You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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