I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
send nudes
from the living room?
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
Randomize
