Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Randomize
