so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
