Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
