im holly from the hills drunk
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize