Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Randomize