there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
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