i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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