I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize