I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
