So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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