I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
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