all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
My bed smells like the plague
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize