I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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