HIV tests are more positive than that guy
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Randomize
