I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
