break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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