Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
A bitchslap is in order.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
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