pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
