Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize