I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
