i permit you to call me
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
that may or may not have been my penis.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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