i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
