3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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