I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
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