And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
