Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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