I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
