he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize