thus making me awesome and them whores
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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