no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
