So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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