you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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