Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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