we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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