I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Randomize
