is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
