Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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